effort and dividend

i enjoy receiving my daily dose of wisdom from neale.. i like this one..

On this day of your life, S, I believe God wants you to know...

..that no effort is ever wasted, although some pay dividends later than you think.

Do not imagine that you "wasted your time" because something didn't turn out right. There is no such thingas "waste" in the Universe. Everything -- everything -- yields benefit.

It's true. And your life will show you this. So don'tdecry the "effort that failed." All things lead to yourhighest good. You just may not know it yet.

You know even now why you just read this...

This friendly "nudge" came from your Self, you know...

Love, Your Friend....

a raw vegan diet plan

we had a vegetarian lunch today. i had a vegetarian "fish" noodle soup and paul had a vegetarian "char kuay teow" which is a singaporean vegetarian version of fried noodles. i should have taken a picture to show you folks on the other side of the ocean.. anyway to me, its a pretence to be healthy! not very far from ordering a big mac, extra large french fries and diet coke! so we also ordered a plate of bittergourd stir fry

,

and a plate of petai beans (the stinkiest beans you can find!) but its supposed to be good for anyone who has diabetes, coz it has detox cleansing effect. i think you can only get petai in asia, particularly indonesia. i love it.

that's petai in its original form and petai cooked with yummy chilli and beans






















read this link for more information on petai, very interesting

http://paradigmaberani.blogspot.com/2008/12/petai-adakah-elok-untuk-kesihatan.html


so anyway, as i suspected might happen and expected, i felt so lousy the whole afternoon, not because the food wasn't good, it was really yummy but more because it's cooked food! i think my body is rejecting the cooked food and telling me to go back to my raw diet... i guess, the body knows what is good for itself and once it's found it, it makes sure that i know and make me suffer if i don't do it!!!

stop that stupid "i told you so!!!" "you should have known better!!!" mantra.... i know i know, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

so anyway... i told myself i am going to do it. tomorrow, i will make time to write a 30day menu of raw cuisine and follow it. as much as i can coz i know i am away last week of november in the land where certified organic vegetable practically doesnt exist, and even if it does, i will wonder how legitimate it is.. which is sad really coz i am sure in china, they do have organic vegetables, they just have such a bad reputation!

and i am going to focus on the greens, not the nuts and the fruits, which may overload on the fats (from nuts) and the sugar (from fruits)

wish me luck!

bad habit diet

i subscribe to Neale Donald Walsch newsletter (the guy who wrote conversations with God) and i received this today which i think is so appropriate for those of us going through this raw food journey... i thought i should share...

On this day of your life, S, I believe God wants you to know...

.....that he who eats till he is sick must fast till he is well.

That is a Hebrew proverb, and it has to do with a lot more than food. Look to see what behaviors you are indulging in over and over again that are clearly not serving you. Then, go on a "bad habit diet."

I mean it. I'm not kidding, Pick one bad habit, one bad behavior, a day for five days. You can do this. Stop doing the stuff you're doing that obviously does not serve you--or others.

This friendly "nudge" came from your Self, you know...

friendship & focus

i have been very fortunate in my life. i have some good friends, not many. a handful. i have two very dear friends who live down the road from me, and i have two other very dear friends who live the opposite side of the ocean from me! it just happened... i don't make friends very easily, in fact i find it very hard to make friends. real friends but when it clicks, it's friends forever. but the interesting thing is all my dear friends are women, oh yes i have a good guy friend. when i first met him, i put him down as frivolous and party animal and as time passed, i discovered he's an amazing grandson who looks after his 96 yr old grandmother. that's when my impression of him totally changed. i have another guy friend whom i thought would be a good friend but as it turns out, we are as different as chalk and cheese. i guess i always wished i have a close brother whom i can relate to. i think the most important guy friends i have and i would like to have is my dear son and my husband.

this evening i was feeling very lousy, u know being off the raw food bandwagon, and being so overwhelmed by so many things. i had a chat with my two dear friends across the globe. sometimes just talking/chatting makes me feel so much better. the interesting thing is both of them are born in the year of the dog! i'm born in the year of the horse and dogs are supposed to be their best friends. of course when they started hearing my ranting, they are such amazing intelligent women, they just tell me what i should do! at the back of my mind i know what i should do, but sometimes you need people to knock senses into your head!

i always thought that as one grows older, its more difficult to make new friends, never mind friends that will become treasures... i am so glad i found some treasures. thank you, gals. you know who you are.

my journey to better health

i took on this raw food journey in the quest for better health. today i felt i lost it, and it was a slap in my face to wake up and take a deep breath and deal with it. as i said, i have had an overwhelming couple of weeks since i came home, i started decluttering but i never seem to finish. there seem to be always something else i need to deal with. my work has been quite peaceful except for slight hiccups and thats when i learn not to take things for granted...

decluttering is an interesting process, some believe that when clutter build up in your home,its a part of your life that you need to examine, and when we choose not to deal with that part of the home or the office that is a mess, it's telling us something. that's scary! so i have good intentions to declutter the whole house, all with the intention to have a simpler life. it's been so hard to even complete one room, never mind the whole house, not that my house is so big! i am going to do it. i will.

so i started this post with my journey to better health. i am so disappointed with myself so far, maybe i am pushing myself too hard. i dunno. i had a vegetarian rice lunch yesterday that was so disappointing. i went to a wine fair yesterday and i was offered some finger food, to go with my wine, and i told the guy thanks but i'm a vegetarian. wow that was news to me! haha... some people look at vegetarians like we are strange, imagine telling people you are a raw vegan!

i realised today that i must commit to becoming a raw vegan. i want to be. because i know for a fact that when i stepped out of the doors of fort bragg, i was a different person than i am now. and its been only 28days! i had so much energy, i was so happy, so calm, so relaxed, quite a different person to how i feel today. even though i have only had a couple of non vegetarian/vegan meals, and that's only because i was being sociable!

i feel like i am lost in space at the moment, where i am neither here nor there. i met my friend over an orange juice and i think he is raw vegan,... my, he is so calm and so relaxed, so zen, whereas i feel like a mad woman, chattering away. he was sharing with me about his experience in chiangmai and how people are so calm and so relaxed and so zen! i am so envious of them! i know i cannot live in a place like this, well i dont think i can at the moment anyway! i need to work to afford my son's boarding school fees so work sounds good! i do like work really, but i think i have ADD (attention deficit disorder) i get distracted so easily. i get bored so easily. my fengshui teacher tells me its in my chart. haha... i need to change my chart, or i need to capitalize on my strengths and try to make the best of my strengths to do well.

i had an sms exchange with a friend today and i think i pissed him off. sms exchange can be so dangerous. sometimes, we interpret messages so differently from our intentions. even email messages can be so misleading. well it ended with him telling me i am confused and fickle minded.

so am i a confused and fickle minded person? what's a confused person? not to know what i want? whats fickle minded? to change my mind about what i want? i think in life, one has to be flexible about what one wants and to be open to change our mind about what we decide on. we live in such a fast paced world, that if i am so set about my ways, i dont think i am going to do very well. at the moment, i know i want to have better health, and i know that this raw food diet has worked for me. i know i need to make lots of money to pay for my son's education/college fund. and i know i am not going to make lots of money organizing raw food classes! well, its not really something i am interested in. i am willing to help but it cannot be my life. i just don't see that in my life at the moment, maybe not for a long moment. i need to get my priorities right, and that is to focus on the right business, and the right business model. raw food is my food not my business. i will never be good at it and i am not really interested to be anything else but a social chef to cook for my husband and me, and perhaps some friends if they are interested to have better health!

which brings me to the other thing on my mind..., friendship. i think i'm going to save that for the next post... have a blessed day!

49days

it suddenly dawned on me that i've been back home from fort bragg exactly 49 days. In Buddhism, it is believed that it takes 49 days for a soul to get to where it's going. i know, i sound morbid, but i feel kind of out of it at the moment.

i can't believe i am saying this but i miss the structure of classes in fort bragg. i miss the wonderful beautiful friends i have made in fort bragg. i still don't miss the washing and the cleaning! haha....

so coming home brought with it challenges and opportunities. the challenge of trying to go 100% raw. finding out that organic food doesn't taste as wonderful as the organic food we had in california. even making the same concoction of smoothies, tasted so different! so sad, for us living in this part of the world. there are literally hundreds, even thousands of restaurants, eating places in singapore, i mean, if you have been here, you would know exactly what i mean, and yet i have not found a single restaurant that could satisfy my palate! how sad is that? sorry, i mean raw vegan or even vegetarian restaurant! i was just thinking, even if i transport cafe gratitude to singapore, i don't think the food will taste the same! the water is different, the temperature, the whole works i suppose.

i went for lunch with some friends to hard rock cafe today. they had this "recession" lunch. so usually i like the food at hrc, i mean its pretty basic standard american fare. today i decided to have the cobb salad, scraping the turkey & the bacon to the side. i usually enjoy that it hasnt let me down so far. but today was not a normal day. i just felt lousy. i think my body is telling me i need to go back to being more raw vegan. 100%? maybe.. i want to. the spirit is willing....

i am missing my earth supplement, my fresh green smoothies, my gourmet raw food!

i ordered teflex sheets and sent it to my buddy in san diego to send them to me. i need the additional teflex sheet to make my flax crackers. i know, its a lame excuse. when i tried using the grease free paper to put the flax crackers in the dehydrator, the paper got stuck! well i had 2 teflex sheet so some of the crackers turned out ok. but because it was my first experiment making at home, i think i put too much flax and too little bell peppers/tomatoes/herbs so it had a very strong flaxseed taste. not so nice. i think i need to make almond cheese to go with it.

i discovered along the way, i like working in the kitchen on my own, its quite therapeutic. i don't feel confident enough to teach anyone how to make stuff yet. and even stuff that i make, i am shy about sharing it with my friends, who are fantastic cooks in the normal sense of cooking. i made the mango wraps which i really am very pleased with, i was flipping through matthew kenney's everyday raw and i saw his mango wrap and knew i could do that! i mean, what's so difficult about blending mangoes with coconuts and spreading it on the dehydrator! but what was interesting was it took more than the 4hrs he said it would take in the book! i literally had to leave it on overnight for 8hrs! maybe its the humidity of our hot weather here, who knows. it turned out well, but i am partial to mangoes and coconuts. that's what caught my eye in the first place!

its been an overwhelming few weeks. i feel tired and yet there is so much i want to do. i think i need to stop and breathe. i slackened off on the exercise. i need to start again.

to good health and a fresh breath of air!

the 30day challenge

so two of my dear friends, course mates from LL are on this 30 day challenge to stick to the raw vegan diet. i am so proud of them. it's been day 7 i think and they are surviving strong. i am thinking of doing that too. i've loaded up my fridge with fresh vegetables and fruits, bought a case of mangoes so i'm all set really.

oh yes, i peeled off the mango skin, sliced it into pieces and put it in the freezer, intending to eventually use it for my morning smoothie. but i was feeling peckish later in the day, and decided to pick on the slightly frozen mangoes, remembering how we were told that we can do that and make it into ice cream. guess what, the mangoes tasted absolutely wonderful, like a creamy ice cream, and i didnt even have to blend it to make it smooth. you should try it at home. really good and healthy!

my favourite fruits wholesaler has put in my order for a case of organic beef tomatoes and its due to be in next week. i wanted roma tomatoes but its not available so we're going to make sun dried tomatoes out of this lot, and i think i'll make some powder as well. it's going to be fun!

i can't believe i'm having so much fun now, planning to experiment with the raw food & all....

will post pics of my tomatoes experiment soon!

till then, stay rawsome!

getting settled at home!

so i finally got home and trying to settle in... it's been a week actually. the weather has been so hot and i'm running around catching up on errands, trying to get my act together. you get the gist.

in the midst of it all, i discovered that my palate has changed. i remember reading somewhere that it takes 3 weeks to develop or break a habit. so i guess the 3 weeks in fort bragg is life changing. two nights back, i decided to have my absolutely favourite swordfish & salmon sashimi. one of the many stuff i miss when i was away. interestingly, when i ate the sashimi, initially it was wonderful, after all its top quality fresh sashimi. i was enjoying it until perhaps the 4th slice, probably when the first few start making its way to my stomach... i felt as it my stomach was invaded by aliens. it was such a strange feeling. gosh, i never ever thought that i would feel lousy eating sashimi. as i was telling some of the girls from class, i think there's no turning back. i have to go raw! and i am not talking about sashimi raw, i mean vegan raw.... that night, i just felt so sick. never again.

this transformation has been so enlightening. i no longer crave for any of the food that i used to love, and that includes of course all the very unhealthy stuff like char kuay teow, laksa and even tim sum!

oh yes, i made pizza flax crackers. i was a bit nervous at first doing it, since it's the first time i am doing it at home. but happy to say, after 36hrs in the dehydrator, it turned out perfect! except that i will not follow the school's recipe next time, which called for carrot pulp! i think i will add more tomatoes, cause i think it'll give it more flavour. this time round. it had a very strong flaxmeal taste. i think i will make almond cheese to go with it.. may hide the taste better... or maybe tomato pesto? hmmm... i am enjoying this!

and after some prompting, i made the chocolate fudge coconut cream dream bar, which to me was a disaster. brought it to my girlfriend's home for tea, i think they were shocked at how rich it can be. i also discovered i do not have a sweet tooth. i much prefer savoury food (yes, rhoni, i can see you saying... i told you so!) i could barely touch a bite of the bar, although i do recall enjoying it so much when i was in fort bragg. perhaps it was the much needed sugar boost in class! well, i think my girlfriends were too polite to say it tasted disgustingly rich and probably disappointed and thinking, you mean this is raw gourmet! i failed badly at the first test!

so i'm planning a dinner for when paul & michael comes back from their trip so i can impress them with my new cullinary skills... i think i shall try to do the almond pesto torte like we did for the catering. will have to ask mukullikaa for advice! i like the menu we served at the catering, not too heavy and taste just perfect. :-) i also do like day's avocado appetizer, which is so light and refreshing... so many choices!

this is making me hungry and its 9am! have a great day!

we're heading south.....

monday 28th, we headed south. after sorting out the logistics which took us till 2pm, we decided to go to cafe gratitude for a final nourishing meal before we head south. 2pm and its packed! they must be doing something right... i finally got to eat my key lime pie which was divine! sorry forgot to take a pic!

i'm going to put up the beautiful pics of the california coast... enjoy... (although i think the mendicino coast views by the ocean is still the most spectacular)

wicked *wink

my second visit to cafe gratitude! we were going to grab a nice lunch before heading for the theatre to see wicked! highly recommended...

after a very heavy and expensive dinner at Alive last night, we thought we should cut down. well we were not really very hungry anyway! lunch was a large glass of cold pressed grapes.. really good!



we had the combo dish, was wonderful... had this the first time with rhoni on our way to fort bragg. love it!



dessert was a coconut cheese cake. too rich for me.. i think i much prefer pies and tarts.



the guy at cafe gratitude mentioned about juliano's in LA http://www.planetraw.com/Site/index.html. i didnt make it but i hope paul goes!



after wicked, we headed for the folsom street fair **wink*** what an experience!

i'm Alive!

so after a really enjoyable day at the farmer's market by the pier where we bumped into this stand that was advertising raw food cuisine, we decided to go try out the restaurant. i mean, you cannot possibly eat at cafe gratitude everyday right? i mean, you can but it would just make us seem like boring unadventurous folks who eat only the same stuff we like everyday which we'll like to think we're not! armed with our GPS, we thought we'll walk there since the tram is like 1 mile long in queue and it is only just down the road, 2.5km i think... piece of cake! but er... did i mention we are in san francisco, the land of the hilly roads and to top it off, we were just going down or up Lombard Street. the GPS said 25mins so well, its 5pm, we can do with an easy half hour stroll/exercise before dinner....

ok, we can do it... it's not that steep. we're fit & healthy right???


paul trying to encourage me walking backwards, uphill




IT IS steeper than it looks!


we finally got to the bottom of Lombard Street.

it's an uphill task ahead, its ok, we'll feel ALIVE over the hill when we climb up the crooked street. paul looking all cheery on the task ahead, probably thinking this dinner better be worth it! well i sure am thinking even McDonald sounds better this very minute!



this is the view of san francisco at the cross road just before we commence our uphill journey on lombard street... which ever angle you look, its uphill! or a steep downhill, there's no turning back...





so the people driving down Lombard Street must think what are these idiots doing walking uphill, when in my mind, i'm thinking what are these idiots driving there humongous american cars down this tiny winding road!


took us 10mins to do that! ok before you go, what??? so slow!!! try it for yourself!

don't look back... the road ahead, sigh. it looks like there is no end!



is he showing off?

yes, he's showing off.. i'm dying here and he's walking like its a stroll!


ok i need inspiration.. this road is not going to end! the GPS is lying to me! the destiny of my dinner is left to a gadget!



so we trod on... 1km is not too bad right? after all, we only took 1.5hrs to go 2.5km! a cab is sounding enticing except that there's not cabs to be found and i can't give up now...


yes.... i'm ALIVE!



i shamelessly took a picture of the menu for all your benefits...it's not as fancy as cafe gratitude and i think it's a little more expensive than cafe gratitude and a much smaller repertoire. well lets see if i still feel so alive after the meal..




of course i wanted to try everything on the menu but its just not possible. my stomach won't agree and neither will the pocket! carrot ginger juice for starters.. very refreshing and so flavourful. highly recommended. make it at home. it's probably the easiest juice you can make!


sushi with a sunflower seed miso pate, carrots and shitake mushrooms. absolutely delicious!


ok i dissected the sushi wrap to see what's in it!




i think this was the mediterranean salad. it was delicious!



the menu says potato leed (i think they mean leek) soup with black miso (what's black miso?) i won't bother with this again..


for entree, we ordered king trumpet mushrooms, capers, mendicino sea palms with almond cream sauce. it's really good but i don't think it's worth the $20 though.


and the other entree which i cannot remember!


the desserts were very good, but also very rich... it was a bit much for me... the chocolate cake was really good but just couldnt bring myself to finish it.. paul did polish off the blueberry pie though!






it was an interesting experience but i think by far, cafe gratitude wins hands down... maybe its the ambience, the energy of the place, the wonderful selection of food at cafe gratitude. who knows...

we were leaving san francisco in two days and paul hasnt been to cafe gratitude so we'll have to do that.

i was hoping to go to juliano's in LA but didnt make it.. well that was in the plan onroute to LA... i told paul he must check it out! hope he does!