49days

it suddenly dawned on me that i've been back home from fort bragg exactly 49 days. In Buddhism, it is believed that it takes 49 days for a soul to get to where it's going. i know, i sound morbid, but i feel kind of out of it at the moment.

i can't believe i am saying this but i miss the structure of classes in fort bragg. i miss the wonderful beautiful friends i have made in fort bragg. i still don't miss the washing and the cleaning! haha....

so coming home brought with it challenges and opportunities. the challenge of trying to go 100% raw. finding out that organic food doesn't taste as wonderful as the organic food we had in california. even making the same concoction of smoothies, tasted so different! so sad, for us living in this part of the world. there are literally hundreds, even thousands of restaurants, eating places in singapore, i mean, if you have been here, you would know exactly what i mean, and yet i have not found a single restaurant that could satisfy my palate! how sad is that? sorry, i mean raw vegan or even vegetarian restaurant! i was just thinking, even if i transport cafe gratitude to singapore, i don't think the food will taste the same! the water is different, the temperature, the whole works i suppose.

i went for lunch with some friends to hard rock cafe today. they had this "recession" lunch. so usually i like the food at hrc, i mean its pretty basic standard american fare. today i decided to have the cobb salad, scraping the turkey & the bacon to the side. i usually enjoy that it hasnt let me down so far. but today was not a normal day. i just felt lousy. i think my body is telling me i need to go back to being more raw vegan. 100%? maybe.. i want to. the spirit is willing....

i am missing my earth supplement, my fresh green smoothies, my gourmet raw food!

i ordered teflex sheets and sent it to my buddy in san diego to send them to me. i need the additional teflex sheet to make my flax crackers. i know, its a lame excuse. when i tried using the grease free paper to put the flax crackers in the dehydrator, the paper got stuck! well i had 2 teflex sheet so some of the crackers turned out ok. but because it was my first experiment making at home, i think i put too much flax and too little bell peppers/tomatoes/herbs so it had a very strong flaxseed taste. not so nice. i think i need to make almond cheese to go with it.

i discovered along the way, i like working in the kitchen on my own, its quite therapeutic. i don't feel confident enough to teach anyone how to make stuff yet. and even stuff that i make, i am shy about sharing it with my friends, who are fantastic cooks in the normal sense of cooking. i made the mango wraps which i really am very pleased with, i was flipping through matthew kenney's everyday raw and i saw his mango wrap and knew i could do that! i mean, what's so difficult about blending mangoes with coconuts and spreading it on the dehydrator! but what was interesting was it took more than the 4hrs he said it would take in the book! i literally had to leave it on overnight for 8hrs! maybe its the humidity of our hot weather here, who knows. it turned out well, but i am partial to mangoes and coconuts. that's what caught my eye in the first place!

its been an overwhelming few weeks. i feel tired and yet there is so much i want to do. i think i need to stop and breathe. i slackened off on the exercise. i need to start again.

to good health and a fresh breath of air!